How to prevent overwhelm as an HSP if someone offends you

Those moments when life totally shows you that you’re definitely highly sensitive

Beautiful sensitive soul,
I’ve got a perfect HSP story for you from this past weekend 😉

It was a beautiful summer Sunday which I mostly spent at the beach. In the morning, I enjoyed yet another a.ma.zing MonaYoga Movement session with my clients. In the late afternoon, I returned for some sunset shots on a standup paddle board. A very lucky day filled with crazy much movement and action, a lot of talking and impressions. Basically, my senses had enough after the sunset and my body was tired, but the high sensation seeker in me decided to accept the invitation of a French guy that I met at the beach and we rode our bikes in high speed across country to a really nice concert of the duo YATAO at so&so.

He asked me deep and philosophical questions that I could barely understand because the stony ground was too loud and I was riding behind him. Maybe you can relate to this – talking about deep stuff if I just met someone without enough silence to understand each other is something I don’t enjoy very much.

In the club, the air was really awful and it was crowded. Used to mental training though 😀 , I managed to focus on the lovely music and ignored the uncomfortable stimuli around me.

Then I could feel the energy change

During the break, I bought us drinks and the guy asked me deep questions again, his energy becoming more and more negative. The atmosphere between us skipped. I could feel how my senses and brain started to shut down. My ears were already filled up to the top from the long day, I was tired, and the fact that I generally have no filters which channel someone’s words in a crowded place made it even harder to understand him. At the beach we already talked about our jobs so he knew that I coach highly sensitive women and that I’m an info sponge myself. I explained him why I barely understand what he’s saying and that it has to do with the missing filters of my senses. (Apart from the auditive overstimulation: my French is really good, yet I’m no native.) Here the weird atmosphere started to grow. The guy started arguing in an offensive way and tried to make me believe that I needed help. That something was wrong with me. That I needed to see a doctor or something. Haha whuuut?? 

High sensitivity is no illness, it’s a giftedness

Guys I was so weirded out that I had to focus on not getting overwhelmed by this situation! Yes I felt very offended. It’s a challenge for an HSP to stick with her or his position when it comes to such situations because those who do not experience the world like us HSPs tend to believe something was wrong with us and communicate this directly or indirectly – no matter in what way, it hits us. Which inevitably makes us doubt ourselves and our perception. It’s human to rather believe the mass after all. Highly sensitive people know well that they roll a bit differently than 80% of the population and most of us experience non-HSP’s assumption that we were ill or at least really weird. So staying strong and in one’s own position as an HSP is a challenge. The struggle is real.

I could feel the overwhelm arise

Deep inside I was absolutely speechless and blood surged to my face even though I knew that he just didn’t know what he was talking about and how far he went – cocky, insolent I was thinking to myself. Crossing my borders to privacy and intimacy already before and now even judging about something he obviously doesn’t understand. Shortsighted. Acting and judging way too fast, plus seriously spreading bad vibes into my positive zone as if he had known me for ages. (Ok, even if I know someone well, I’ve got enough respect for that person’s energy to keep my bullshit for myself instead of dumping it in her or his positive zone.) The situation was gross. He talked to me just the way he wanted and his energy was very different from when I first met him. There was something really negative in his energy. For a few milliseconds, we looked into each others eyes being confused about what’s going on. I was just shaking my head, took a deep breath and smiled. I could see that he basically just projected his world onto mine. His interpretation and judgement had nothing to do with me.

It’s all about balance

The thing is: when my senses are fresh, I can even hear a waterdrop falling down in China. When my senses are fresh, I am extremely receptive – then I can hear e.ve.ry.thing. Only after a long and exhausting day or in a big crowd, I struggle with channelling and organizing information in my brain. I’d say a totally normal phenomenon for an HSP haha. I didn’t try to further explain him how an HSP brain works though. Sometimes you have to ponder: is this person open for different perspectives or not, will my explanation bring us peace? In this case, the answer was No.

How to stay in a good mood

Years ago I would have started a discussion to show him how wrong his perspective is, or at least have brought up an excuse to leave. Today I can handle such situations. I kept smiling and didn’t let him destroy my positive mood. It worked well, but for me it was clear: this doesn’t have to be repeated haha. And it was yet another good test that I passed. All my mental training pays off. I can set boundaries and manage my energy even when someone crosses borders. I can enjoy my ride home and sleep well, even when someone offended me.

My first aid tipps 😉

  • regard and value the situation differently so you feel different
  • remind yourself of the fact that everybody has his point and that trying to be right or to make things clear isn’t always the best decision. Not if you can feel that the other person isn’t open minded at the moment. Maybe he or she will never be.
  • let it be and focus on your inner peace. It’s enough if you know that you’re right.
  • breathe deeply, smile (!) and focus on the good in whatever situation. There’s always something you can be happy about. Close your eyes for a couple of seconds and imagine a powerful picture that makes you happy if this helps you focus on the good. This picture might be a person who would support you right now or anything else that makes you really happy within seconds. By closing your eyes, you shut down up to 80% of your conscious perception and you can look within more easily.
  • keep focussing on your deep breath and keep smiling

You will thank yourself 🙂

 

LOVE,

and happy Tu-esday, beautiful!

Mona

PS: I was wearing this beautiful dress that I bought in Shanghai for a TV show production I was part of recently – release in November! I’ll keep you posted 🙂

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬  Yatao Music